Do-do-do-do doo-do
Do-do-do-do-doo
- Billy Dilley - We're subterranean
- Billy Dilley - You're such a brainy kid
- Billy Dilley - It's fascinating how
- Billy Dilley - It's complicated now
- Billy Dilley - Situation critical
- Billy Dilley - I hope it's fixable
- Billy Dilley - Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Billy Dilley
BILLY: Steady! (GRUNTS)
Pickle me, Anaximander.
It's okay. I got it.
I sure do enjoy spending time with my favorite rat.
Straw me.
Eh, straw me.
No? All right.
Wh... wh... why don't we finish this a little later?
How about we play some fetch instead?
- Ready? (GRUNTS) Attaboy. - (THUD)
It's all you, buddy. (PANTS)
Now it's your turn.
Oh, almost. (PANTS)
But now you go get it, boy.
Oh! (PANTS) Get ready, buddy.
Reach out and grab it before it passes you by.
Wow! Would you look at that?
(GRUNTS) Lucky bounce, eh, buddy? (PANTS)
Uh, you can do it.
Just reach out your hands and catch it.
(DING)
Good boy.
All I ever do is give.
When will you ever give back?
For me? You do care.
"This coupon's good for one subscription
to Rat Fancy magazine"?
If that's the way you want it to be,
I think I need to go for a walk.
(THUNDERS, RUMBLES)
(SOBS)
(CRIES, GROANS)
(SNIFFS)
(EXCLAIMS) Whoa!
BILLY: (SCREAMING)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
- (GIBBERS INDISTINCTLY) - BILLY: Uh?
BOTH: (SCREAM)
Wait. Do I know you from somewhere?
- You look so familiar. - (GROWLS)
(SNORTS)
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
You're a playful little scamp, aren't you?
- (EXCLAIMS) - (GIGGLES)
- I think I'll call you Sluggy. - (GURGLES)
- You like that name, don't you, boy? - (GURGLES)
It's been fun, Sluggy, but I guess I'd better get going.
- Anaximander's definitely... - (GURGLES)
What is it, boy? You wanna come with me?
Oh, that would be so much fun.
But I don't know the first thing about proper slug care.
(SLOBBERS)
Aw, how could I say no to that little face?
This is your face, right?
(GIGGLES)
Me and you, you and me
Together in sweet harmony
Like apple pie and vanilla ice cream
Friendship is such a treat
La-la la-la-la-la
Seven hundred ninety-nine, 800!
Ready or not, here I come.
(GIGGLES)
Wherever could Sluggy be?
Found ya, buddy.
Precious.
Me and you, you and me
What more could anyone need?
BILLY: What a day.
I think it's time Sluggy had a little quiet time,
and Billy had a little Billy Dilley time.
This big bag of beans,
colloquially known as a bean bag,
will make a great little bed for my Sluggy.
(GIGGLES)
Now you just relax,
and old Billy will go do some important work.
Now then, do I use the dill or the kosher?
- (EXCLAIMS) - Oh, Sluggy!
You really aren't much of a listener, are you?
- That's a good boy. - (SLURPS)
Now for the pickle de-resistance. (GRUNTS)
It's the most beautiful dill twirler ever,
but I bet with more pickle juice, this thing will really sing.
Am I right, Sluggy?
(CRUNCHING)
That's funny, for a second there, it almost sounded like
- someone was eating my... - (CRUNCHING LOUDLY)
Oh!
(CRUNCHING)
My dill twirler!
Sluggy, what have you done? (SOBS)
- Huh? Eh. - (CRUNCH)
(SLURPS)
Okay, it's obvious we both need a break.
- Stay. - (GURGLES)
Stay.
- (SLUGGY PANTS) - (SCREAMS)
I said...
stay!
(SIGHS)
BILLY: What? Oh! (WHIMPERS)
(PANTS, SIGHS)
(GASPS)
(CLATTERING)
- SLUGGY: (GURGLES) - (SCREAMS)
BILLY: (PANTING)
- (PANTING) - SLUGGY: (GURGLES)
BILLY: (YELLS, GRUNTS)
- (SCREAMS) - (THUD)
BILLY: (MUMBLES, GIGGLES)
(PANTS)
SLUGGY: (GURGLES)
Sluggy, look out. Behind you.
There's a... hallway.
(GURGLES)
BILLY: (WHIMPERING)
Why, Zeke, these spanakopita look lovely.
BILLY: Can't talk, gotta hide.
Hi, Billy. How's it going with Sluggy?
Things have gone horribly wrong.
You and Zeke have to help me.
Uh... Whoa!
Eww! Sluggy.
(GURGLES)
BILLY: Psst.
Marsha, first thing is... (INDISTINCT WHISPERING)
SLUGGY: (GURGLES)
Zeke... (INDISTINCT WHISPERING)
- (GURGLES) - BILLY: Hey, Sluggy.
Come and get me.
Ca-caw.
Ca-caw. Zeke.
Uh, that's my cue.
SLUGGY: (PANTS)
Gotcha. Nicely done, Zeke. Why, thank you, Zeke.
- (ENGINE REVS) - (TIRES SCREECH)
All right, Sluggy, it's time to go. (SOBS)
(GIBBERS)
I'm sorry. It just wasn't meant to be.
- (WHIMPERS) - Don't look at me like that. (SOBS)
I don't want you anymore. (SOBS)
Oh, cheer up, Billy.
Yeah, you're finally slug-free.
(GURGLES)
SLUGGY: (PANTING, GURGLING)
Ugh, why did you have to bring home a slug anyway?
Yeah, Billy. Why didn't you bring home a nice turtle like I did?
MARY: (GROWLS)
Good girl, Mary Shelley.
- SLUGGY: (PANTS) - BILLY: (GRUNTS)
Zeke, Marsha, you're right.
Billy Dilley has really made a mess of things this time.
And it's high time he does something about it.
Something drastic.
Zeke, I'm leaving you my dill twirler.
Marsha, I'm leaving you my ball of missing left socks,
slash sculpture of the planet.
Wow. Thanks, Billy.
I won't need them where I'm going.
(SPRINGS SQUEAKING)
Billy, where are you going?
And why do you have that thing on your head?
And where can I get one?
I should've never taken Sluggy out of his natural habitat.
He can't make it in our world.
So, I'm just gonna have to make it in his.
- Uh, What? - What?
BILLY: (GRUNTS)
Come on, Sluggy.
Let's go home.
(GRUNTS, GROANS)
(SLURPS, GRUNTS)
(GROANS, GASPS)
(GRUNTS, YELLS) Ow.
- (SIGHS) - (RETCHES)
Sluggy, we need to talk.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about you and me, and us,
and I'm not so sure the us part is working out so well.
I think it might be best if we spend
- some time apart. - (HOWLING)
Give each other a little space.
You know, like... wait, what? Wait, where are you going?
- (HOWLING) - BILLY: (YELPS)
- (GIBBERS) - Sluggy?
- (GASPS) - (HOWLING)
- (HOWLS) - Wait, you're leaving me?
Sluggy, don't go. I take it all back.
Please don't leave me. I promise I'll be a better slug. (CRIES)
(HOWLING)
Don't leave me, Sluggy!
BOTH: (GIBBER)
BOTH: (PURR)
Don't go!
Back to where you belong.
Good-bye, Sluggy.
Don't forget old Billy,
'cause I'll never forget you. (GARGLES)
Anaximander.
How about that game of fetch? (GARGLES)
TV ANNOUNCER: We now return to As the Cheese Curdles.
MAN: You'll never inherit my cheddar empire.
WOMAN: It's too late. I already have.
(GUN SHOTS FIRING)
(IMITATING GUITAR RIFF)
BILLY: Psst. Don't freak out, Zeke. I'm not a real talking bush.
It's me, Billy.
Why are you in camouflage? Wait, no. Why did I say that?
I'm so glad you asked.
Wanna see something really amazing?
Okay. I don't see anything.
Look lower. Lower.
Lower. Lo... a little lower. Okay, that's it.
Billy, please tell me you're not talking about these shrubs.
I call the one with the red berries the red rashy shrub of itchery.
It leaves you with an itchy rash for 12 hours.
And the one with the blue berries...
not actual blue berries, but berries that are blue,
- its leaves will... - ZEKE: That's nice, Billy.
Tell me all about it later, okay?
Okay, Zeke, will do. Roger that.
(CHOMPING)
Ooh! Brie Invaders?
Nobody's ever beaten level 87.
You think that's cool, watch this.
- (CREAKING) - What the...
(SPITS)
Uh-oh.
Strange weather today, eh, Zeke?
Yeah, totally.(CHUCKLES)
I estimate it'll take about 12 hours
for us to clean up together.
Twelve hours?
Come on, Zeke. It'll be fun.
Nothing like shoveling garbage with a friend.
Uh, yeah, Billy, I can't pick up this trash.
- Why can't you? - Because I lost our only two shovels.
That's okay. We can use these teaspoons.
It'll quadruple the clean-up time, but that's more fun for us.
I just remembered, the shovels are in the shed.
There's gotta be a way outta this.
BILLY: It leaves you with an itchy rash for 12 hours.
One hundred and twenty-two teaspoons of trash in the bag
One hundred and twenty-two teaspoons of trash
You scoop one up plop it inside...
- Uh, Billy... - Zeke, what happened?
Well, I had the shovels in my hand, and then, the volcano erupted.
Funny, I didn't hear anything.
It was a silent but deadly eruption.
The most dangerous of all.
And it scared a pterodactyl.
They're not usually afraid of anything.
- It was a chicken pterodactyl. - Oh, okay, that would explain it.
Anyway, it swooped down, so I ducked,
and that's when I fell right into that bush of itchery.
The bush of itchery? There is no way you can shovel trash in your condition.
Oh, no! Billy, I hadn't thought of that.
- You'll just have to stay in... - My room?
A hygienic isolation bubble.
Exactly. Hygienic isolation bubble... wait, what?
(SNORING)
You know, quarantine is not half bad.
- Just one question, though. - What's that, Zeke?
Why do we both have to be in here?
Isolation is best done together.
Besides, I must have the rash by now, too.
- Mm. - That's enough.
Okey-doke. I'll just go and make us some snacks, Zeke.
(SIGHS) Much better than shoveling garbage.
- (LOUD WHIRRING) - (SCREAMS)
Billy, what is that sound?
What's that, Zeke? I can't hear you over the blender.
- Why do you need a... - (BLENDER WHIRRING)
- Why do you... - (BLENDER WHIRRING CONTINUES)
- Why do... - (BLENDER WHIRRING CONTINUES)
Still having some trouble hearing you, buddy.
(SHOUTS) I said, "Why do you need a blender?"
(SNORTS)
No need to shout, Zeke.
The blender is for making health smoothies.
Huh. Don't mind if I do.
(SLURPS)
(SLURPS) Ah. The phytoplankton really give it a kick.
Okay, Zeke, we're gonna be in this bubble for at least 12 hours.
- So we need to keep our strength up. - Ugh.
We'll start with a simple cooperative squat.
Cooperative squat?
That's right, buddy. First, we join hands.
Then, we take a shoulder-width stance.
And... (GRUNTS) ...up, two.
Wait. Why are we holding hands?
Friendship distracts me from the burning in my quadriceps.
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING CONTINUES)
- (GRUNTS) Faster, Zeke. - (GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
Not feeling it, Zeke?
- Not even a little. - (SPLASH)
I know what might help.
- Earplugs? - BILLY: Close.
Proper workout attire.
That's it. I'm outta here. I don't have to put up with this.
All I did was touch a bush with blue berries on it.
Blue berries?
Yeah, 12-hour rash. Big deal.
- No, Zeke, that's for the red berries. - It is?
The blue berry bush is a whole another story.
It is?
BILLY: The blue-berried bush of burstery
does a real wang-doodle on your glandular system,
and if you step out in the open air, you inflate,
growing bigger and bigger,
until before you know it...
- (POPS) - Fascinating.
Billy, what am I gonna do?
Look on the bright side, Zeke.
Bright side? I'm going to explode.
It can't get any worse.
Your innards won't liquefy and rupture alone, Zeke.
We'll be together at the bitter end.
I was wrong. It just got worse.
You gotta help me, Billy.
(CRIES) There's nothing we can do, Zeke,
except just go and get the antidote.
But you said it yourself. We can't leave this bubble.
Or can we?
You're probably gonna wanna change first.
(GROANS)
It's a good thing I had this
two-person isolation bubble suit lying around.
I almost didn't pack it. I haven't even worn it since junior prom.
It takes up so much space. Doesn't even really...
Billy, focus.
How is this suit supposed to get us the antidote?
- I'm glad you asked, Zeke. - Oh, no, I didn't mean...
BILLY: The outer shell is heat-resistant gelatin,
and the inner mechanisms are a convoluted system
of levers, pulleys, and switches,
operated by the power of our limbs.
So, we move our legs to move the legs of the suit.
Yeah, pretty much.
BOTH: (GRUNT)
- We did it, Zeke, we took a single step. - All right!
Now there's only 20,943 and a half steps to go.
(GROANS)
BOTH: (GRUNTING)
BILLY: Eighteen thousand, six hundred and seventy two...
ZEKE: (GRUNTS)
BILLY: Seven thousand, five hundred and eighty six...
- ZEKE: (GRUNTS) - BILLY: Thirty seven...
- ZEKE: (GRUNTS) - BILLY: Thirty six...
- Billy, would you shut up? - Quiet, Zeke. Look.
- "Gorbone & Son's Garbage Town"? - This is it.
ZEKE: Okay, so is the antidote in that giant pile of trash,
or in the giant sleeping next to the giant pile of trash?
- The giant. - Pile of trash?
No, just the giant.
- Well, technically, in his ear. - His ear?
The giant's ear wax is the antidote.
Side effects may include nausea, stinky feet...
- Uh... - ...and life-saving.
(GROANS, SNORES)
ZEKE: We're almost there, Billy.
- Just one more. - BILLY: We did it, Zeke! We did it!
BOTH: (CHEERING)
(GROWLS) Tickles.
- You wanna try the stepladder? - Stepladder?
- (GROANS) - Zeke?
We're doomed, and it's all my fault.
Your fault?
I didn't accidentally fall in that shrub.
I rubbed it on myself
so I wouldn't have to shovel garbage with you.
Wow, Zeke, I really appreciate your honesty.
- (SCREAMS) - What's the matter?
- You're ballooning. - Oh, no. So are you.
- ZEKE: What do we do? - BILLY: I don't know!
BOTH: (SCREAM)
I'm sorry, Billy. Good-bye.
It's okay, Zeke. I wouldn't want to explode in a garbage dump
with anyone else.
Lab friends for...
Billy, look. Now's our chance.
- The ear. - Our last-est hope.
Swim for it.
BILLY: (GRUNTS)
Swab ready.
Steady.
We must dock precisely.
Contact.
Retract the swab.
It's no use. My arms aren't strong enough.
Wait, that's it. We have to use our legs.
A cooperative squat.
Shoulder-width stance and...
BOTH: (GRUNT)
- Feel the burning in my quadriceps. - Feel the burning in my quadriceps.
BOTH: (GRUNT)
Quickly, into the feed hatch.
Deploying the nutrition chutes.
(SLURPS)
- (RETCHES) - Not bad. (BELCHES)
- Tastes like health smoothie. - (BELCHES) Ah...
- BILLY: (GIGGLES) - ZEKE: (BELCHES)
(BELCHES) Zeke, it's working!
- Whoo! - (BELCHES)
ZEKE: Whoa! Whoa! Uh-oh!
BOTH: (SCREAMING)
I'm totally alive! Mm!
Zeke, as much as you know I would love to hug right now,
I don't think this is the time,
seeing as we're trapped in a giant mountain of garbage.
Isn't this awesome? There's only one way out,
so grab a shovel, friend.
Or perhaps teaspoons, pal.
- One teaspoon of trash on the pile - One teaspoon of trash on the pile
- One teaspoon of trash... - One teaspoon of trash...
All clear, Papa Gorbone.
Roger that, Junior.
- ZEKE: (SINGING) - BILLY: (SINGING)
I said you've got the wrong number
For the right guy
I'll do the job for you
Just pay the price
Run, run, run away
Baby, stick to the plan
- Whoo, whoo - Run, run, run away
Catch me if you can